Okay, here’s my attempt at writing a blog post in the style you described, focusing on the topic “is helldivers 2 split screen” and incorporating the given example’s tone and structure:
So, I’ve been getting really into Helldivers 2 lately. Like, REALLY into it. The chaotic co-op, the friendly fire… it’s a blast! Naturally, I wanted to rope my buddy in, have him over, and play some good old-fashioned couch co-op. We figured, you know, split-screen, two controllers, one screen, easy peasy. Turns out, it wasn’t quite that simple.

First thing I did? Booted up the game, naturally. I fiddled around in the menus, looking for anything that said “split-screen,” “local co-op,” “couch play”… you name it, I looked for it. Nada. Zilch. Nothing there.
Okay, no biggie, I thought. Maybe it’s something you activate in-game? So, I started a mission, thinking maybe I could add a player once I was on the ground. Nope. Still no option to magically conjure a split-screen experience.
That’s when I hit the internet. Googled “Helldivers 2 split screen,” “Helldivers 2 local co-op,” every variation I could think of. I read a bunch, forum this forum that, and it all came back to the same disappointing answer.
The Hard Truth
Helldivers 2 does not have split-screen. Period. End of story.
It’s online co-op only, folks. Which, I gotta admit, is a bummer. I mean, I get it, online play is the norm these days, but sometimes you just want to have a friend over, share some snacks, and blast bugs together on the same TV. It’s a classic gaming experience!
So I did try to connect to the online coop, and wow, that exprience is awesome! But still… I will try the split-screen again. Or maybe waiting for the new updates?

Anyway, that’s my little adventure in trying (and failing) to get split-screen working in Helldivers 2. My buddy still came over, but he, played from his laptop, and connected the internet with me. Hopefully, this saves someone else the trouble!